Can you do it? I didn’t know I could…

When Charli asked me to give my testimony for her “Charli-zine,” I pondered “which testimony?” I have so many. God has been so faithful and blessed me in so many ways, time and time again. Should I give the one where God healed me of cancer? The one where I stood waiting for 11 years on His word that He had given me for a promised restoration and reconciliation? It was finally time to share my testimony about my marriage.

My husband and I are ministering in our home once a month to couples and many others through our Home Fellowship. Our ministry, Fresh Fire Home Fellowship, was started over a year ago in our home in Tennessee. God is using us to minister to broken marriages, the lost, and hurting people. I have the most wonderful, loving, caring and sensitive husband in the world. The Lord has given my husband such wisdom and knowledge. He has blessed us in so many ways. I cannot thank God enough for what He has done in our lives. Together as a couple and with the help of God, we are impacting our family and friends lives. It hasn’t always been this way though.

I have been married to a man who had cheated on me for 9 years on and off. A man who is a Christian but a carnal one for many years and who has been mean, unfaithful, insensitive, uncaring, inconsiderate, etc throughout my marriage…that is until God got hold of him. In the past each time he cheated, he asked for my forgiveness and I forgave him but it got harder and harder and I kept trying to change his bad habits. I would pray, read the word and say I was turning him over to God but always tried to change him myself by pointing out to him everything he did wrong.

Well over a year ago I found out he was having an affair again. When confronting him with it this time, he didn’t deny it but said yes he was and even worse, told me that he was in love with her and wanted a divorce from me. Let me tell you I was crushed! My whole world seemed to come crashing down. I found out this affair had been going on for months. They did not live in the same state so they never had relations but he had fallen in love with her.

I did not know what to do. I called a good friend and mentor (Charli Pickett) who helped me turn to God. She gently and lovingly guided me to the King of Kings and Lord of Lords and taught me how to walk in the spirit by putting my trust in God and not in my husband. She helped me to get my eyes off of the problem and turned them to Jesus, our deliverer. She taught me quickly what I needed to do and I listened to her Godly advice and applied every bit of it. What I am about to tell you how I overcame this trial is not to bring glory upon myself for what I did, but to give God all the glory for what He did through me.

I first started to pray for my husband like I never had before. I would wake at 3 am every morning, get out of bed, and go to the foot of the bed on my knees where my husband lie sleeping and lay hands on him and pray. I would go into his closet and kneel and pray. Every waking moment I would lift my husband up to the Lord. I asked the Lord not to hold this charge against my husband. I asked the Lord not to hold this charge against her. I told my husband that I loved him and was not going to leave him and that I was praying for him. I fasted for 4-5 days straight while praying for him. I sought out the scriptures to find every scripture I could about the situation. I wrote these scriptures down and prayed them every day.

I would sometimes pick up the phone and he would be talking to her. I did not confront him about this or bring anything up to my husband. He was not trying to hide it anymore. Was this easy?? No Way! Nancy could not do this on her own. I did not have the ability to love like this. I was able to love him in a way I never had before though. Only with the help of the Holy Spirit could I do this. I ignored when he said mean things to me. I ignored when he did mean things. I just showed him unconditional love. I told him often how much I loved him.

He was unable to give me any encouragement or sense of hope. HE wasn’t but GOD was. I left him alone by not bugging him or confronting him about anything. I just showed him love. I made love to him. I praised him and showered him with love. He started to notice a big change in me.

Now, I did not say I FELT like doing any of this. My flesh rebelled and did not want to do any of this. The enemy spoke in my ear daily telling me it was of no use and tried to discourage me. The enemy reminded me of all the times in the past where I had prayed and asked God to change my husband but did not see any lasting change. Each time I took my eyes off of God and put them on the problem or my husband, I would start to lose my peace of mind, the peace of God that passes all understanding.

I had to learn to bring every thought into captivity and focus on the things of God. I was in a spiritual battle and had to fight this in the spirit and not the flesh. Most of the time it was not easy to love him like this but God gave me the strength because I stayed in His presence nonstop. I was learning how Jesus loves us unconditionally. In spite of our sins and weaknesses, He still loves us.

I prayed the word over my husband and over my situation daily. I stayed in Psalms for weeks and months as the word ministered to my spirit.Ps 37:4-7 4 Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. (my husband’s love..my marriage) 5 Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this:6 He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. 7 Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; (this was hard to do for me as I did not have a lot of patience and wanted God to change him fast) do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. Ps 34:15 The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their cry; Ps 34:4 I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.

I would substitute my husbands or my name into the scriptures so it applied to me and my situation. I cried out to the Lord day and night and asked the Lord to be my help, my strong tower, and my deliverer. And, He was and still is!

I learned through that trial of my life how to truly trust in the Lord and not look to what was going on around me. I was learning how to truly walk in the spirit and not in the flesh. To not go by my feelings or emotions. I knew that no matter what happened between my husband and me, I was going to be ok, I had the peace, trust and security of the Lord knowing that my life was in the Lords hands. I learned not to fret or worry and to cast all my cares upon Him. As I learned to depend totally upon the Lord, God changed my situation and my husband. Little did I know that this battle I was going through of learning to totally trust God, was preparing me for an even bigger battle a few months down the road. One that my life depended upon.

I saw God start to change my husband. He eventually quit the affair, went for deliverance and got set free from this stronghold over his life and fell back in love with me. This did not happen overnight but over the next 6-8 months. He is now walking in the spirit and not fulfilling the desires of his flesh. God is faithful to complete the work that He started! My husband amazes me constantly. He does so many little things for me now that he never did before. He is more sensitive, caring, kind and loving. He is not perfect and still has his faults, like we all do, but God has truly changed him into a husband that I can now be proud of and admire.

I have the marriage now that I have always dreamed of having. One where my husband loves the Lord with all his heart, soul and mind, respects, admires and loves me unconditionally. Something I could not do for years by my preaching, scolding, nagging, teaching, etc, For 10 years I tried to change my husband and couldn’t and when I finally learned to totally trust God and put him in God’s hands, God changed not only him but more importantly ME.

Five months after all this I was diagnosed with Cancer. Since I was so built up spiritually and had so much of the word in me, I was able to stand and have faith for my healing and the Lord healed me. Praise God. To Him be all the Glory!! Again Charli Pickett was a vessel that the Lord used to impart a supernatural gift of faith into my life when she laid hands on me for my healing. I then found every scripture about healing, put it on index cards and posted them all over my house….bathroom mirrors, refrigerator, laundry room, bedroom, computer, everywhere so that the word was before me constantly.

This increased my faith and allowed me to keep my eyes off the problem and confess the word over my body. When the doctors went back in for surgery the 2nd time to get the remaining cancer tumor out of my body, they could not find any cancer. They could not explain it either. I COULD! God had healed me.

The enemy uses specific tools disguised, and often innocently packaged, to tear families apart. This is why the basis for marriage should be anchored in unconditional love. God is love and love never fails, because God never fails. Love is patient and kind. It is not irritable or prideful and does not insist on its own way. When love is not the foundation, the marriage will crumble. You have a responsibility to love your spouse unconditionally.

Consider each other’s concerns, and take them seriously. When husbands and wives fail to love, the marriage becomes vulnerable to satanic attack. We can easily drift away from God and our spouses when we lack balance and direction from God. Miscommunication is a tactic Satan uses. Many times we feel we have communicated effectively with our spouse, only to later find out that something we said was misconstrued. It is important that you communicate effectively with your spouse. Always consider your motives before expressing your feelings.

Also, when you are talking to your spouse, make sure they understand what you are saying. Be sure to give them your undivided attention when they are speaking to you. Love and understanding are keys to effective communication. Despite the enemy’s attacks, your marriage can remain strong. Let God’s Word be your foundation at all times. When you have a problem, search the Word for your answers. Remember, it is through skillful and godly wisdom a marriage is built.

I know our walk with the Lord is not an easy one and throughout our lives we will go through many trials and tribulations. My advice from someone who has done it the wrong way and failed and then learned the right way and succeeded is “The Word”. Plain and simple. Get in the word. Find scriptures that relate to your problem. Confess them daily. Get your eyes off of the problem and on Jesus…literally! Do not go by what you are seeing but on what the Word says .

The Lord has a work He wants to do in YOU! When you’re ready to acquire what God has for you, many times you won’t be able to just walk into it; sometimes we have to fight for it. Most people don’t know how hard we’ve had to fight to get where we are today.

There was a time I almost lost heart, there was a time I almost walked out, there was a time I almost gave up, but to God be the glory.2 Corinthians 4:17 (NKJV) “For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal”.

I now understand that every affliction I went through was only for a moment even though at times it seem like it was lasting forever. I want to make a declaration and say keep fighting! Keep fighting for your marriage! Don’t you lose heart, and don’t you give up!

I pray the word will be a lamp unto your feet. That you will have a fresh revelation of the word and that you will be able to fight the good fight of faith. I know with these tools you will have Victory in every situation. God will see you Through! With man these things seem impossible but with God ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE.

May the Lord be your strong tower. May you have the peace of God fill your heart and spirit. May He give you the desires of your heart as He has mine. Eph 6:12-18 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

Servant of the Most High God,

Nancy Connell                                                                            

mailto:freshfire4you@aol.com

http://sites.google.com/a/wildblue.net/fresh-fire-home-fellowship/

OUR GOD IS SO FAITHFUL

He promises He will never leave us nor forsake us.  Hebrews 13:5

I grew up in an alcoholic, abusive home. At age 18 I married against my father’s wishes to a man who was abusive as well. I divorced him at age 22. I met my present husband and remarried. We were both searching for “that something” that was missing in our lives.

At this time in my life I was a very bitter and angry woman. I couldn’t understand why all these things had happened to me in my life. I couldn’t stand the person that I had become. I had so much anger inside me and I didn’t know how to deal with it. I was searching for something but I didn’t know what it was. In 1994 I received Jesus Christ as my personal Savior. Suddenly I found what I had been searching for my whole life.

As I grew in the Father He began to work on me by tearing down the walls that had me bound to things of the past. The most powerful thing we have as Christians is the power of choice. We are miserable people by choice. So I chose not to allow my past to dictate my future. God promises in Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future”. We have to pursue God’s will by moving forward.

For over 13 years I tried to have a child. I went through several infertility treatments but none ever worked. So I began to ask why?  When we are in confusion about why certain things happen in our lives, that’s when I realized I just needed to search for Him.

For the next 11 years I served in our youth ministry at church and God has blessed me by allowing me to be a spiritual mom to several kids. I wanted to be a blessing to the kids but instead I was the one who was blessed! So I’m learning untried faith is unreliable faith.

I’m finding out that you are only in tune with God when you are in tune with His Word. I have to stay in His Word for the times I need to fall back on His promises. I’m learning that I have to spend time with Him in order to have a relationship. Prayer is a matter of the heart. It’s a matter of opening up my emptiness into His fullness. We serve a mighty God and is worthy of all of our praise! 

Because of Him,

Michelle Chapman

However I consider my life worth nothing to me, If only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given to me – The task of testifying to the gospel of Gods grace. Acts 20:24

I am so excited to offer those who visit my site the opportunity to read testimonies, teachings, or learn of amazing and inspiring experiences that God has done in the lives of other women of faith. 

Today Shelsea Holubec will share with us how God used a brush, paint, and a canvas to set her soul free! 

He will do the same for you, if you just ask Him to.

MY YOKE

I looked at this blank canvas not knowing what to do or where to begin.  Then I heard a small voice say, “Start with the Cross”.  I replied with an annoyed tone “Lord, everybody paints a cross”.  That is all I kept hearing, so that is where I began.  I do not know why I struggle with what the Lord tells me to do because it is ALWAYS for my best.  Sure enough, this was too!  So, I began with the cross.  Many times, I have to remind myself to go back to the cross.   (more…)

It was less than a week before I was to leave for the mission field – for what would turn out to be two years onboard a Mercy Ship off the coast of West Africa.

Though I knew this was what I was supposed to be doing, and though God had opened door after door to get me to this place, I was still having second thoughts. 9/11 had occurred only days earlier, and I was a single woman in my mid-twenties.

What could I possibly be thinking?! Was the world even a safe place to travel anymore? Was it wise to leave behind all I knew as safe and familiar, to head off into an as yet undefined adventure? It would be just me and God, facing the unknown…I knew no one else where I was going.

As these thoughts churned through my mind, my soul in a bit of turmoil, I began preparing a sticky but delicious recipe called “friendship bread” – a concoction of 14 ingredients. Never one to remember to check if I have all the ingredients on hand before proceeding with a recipe, I absent-mindedly poured and mixed, measured and spooned.

Inwardly, I was having a spirited conversation with God. “Haven’t I promised you that I would go before you, that I would protect you, that I would be a Father and a Husband to you?” I felt Him prompting me inside.

I acknowledged that this was exactly what He had been speaking to me about over the past week. When my head hit the pillow each night, His Spirit had been whispering very real reassurances to me, bringing to mind specific verses in the Bible that pledged how He would care for His children and look out for His loved ones.

“What is it exactly that a husband does for his wife? What does a father do for his child?” He prompted further. I supposed that both roles involved protection, provision, and unconditional love. “When have I ever failed you? What cause do you have to doubt My ability to come through for you in each and every situation – even if the answer is different than what you may have expected…or preferred?” He continued, gently but relentlessly.

The inner questioning went on. I felt myself at a loss to come up with answers. And still I felt an indescribable doubt wrapping its cold fingers around my soul. Into these strange musings broke the harsh reality that alas, I was clean out of the last ingredient on my list: butterscotch pudding mix. Now how on earth could I have done that? I ALWAYS had pudding mix on hand. 

I rummaged through the shelf again, then hastily glanced around at all the other shelves. Maybe I had misplaced it after the last shopping trip. Nothing.  In the spot where I normally kept pudding was only a vacant hole. Frustration was added to the list of negative emotions with which I was grappling. I didn’t have time to run to the store, and I couldn’t just throw out the mixture after using up 13 other ingredients.

What was I to do? Just at that precise moment, in an inaudible yet distinctly unmistakable way, I felt Him pointedly ask me, “Didn’t I tell you I will provide for you? How much do you trust  Me? Why don’t you ask Me?”

I knew with crystal-clear clarity in that moment that it is wonderful to talk about faith and trust, but that those big concepts are only truly defined in specific moments of need like the one I was facing. Gulping, I sheepishly admitted, “Father, I need butterscotch pudding mix. I’m all out.”

I don’t think even the widow of II Kings 4 could have felt as much amazement when she discovered the jars filled with oil, as I did moments later when I decided to look one more time on the shelf. I almost fell off the stool as I saw, not just any old pudding mix, but one package of the exact butterscotch mix that the recipe called for.

Tears streaming down my cheeks, I knew with absolute certainty that the very God who numbers the hairs on our head and sees the fallen sparrow, is alive and at work in EVERY DETAIL of our lives. Who says miracles don’t still happen today?!! This was only the first episode of many over the next two years, in which God provided for my every physical and spiritual need — often in uncanny, unpredictable ways.

If Moses had sat down before he headed into the desert with the Israelites, and calculated how in the world he would ever be able to find enough food, water, shelter, and firewood for the multitudes, he never would have left Egypt. But Moses didn’t let such details cloud his perspective. All he knew was that God had spoken, and that he (after his initial doubting stage) wanted to obey.

In the same way, I knew God was leading me to go to Africa. And so I stepped out into the unknown, trusting Him for the details.That’s not to say it was always easy…far from it. I was frequently homesick. It was a challenge living in close quarters with other missionaries from all over the world. It could be discouraging ministering to people who sometimes didn’t seem to show any long-term change. But God did miraculously provide.

 
On one occasion, my digital camera was stolen out of a ransacked suitcase in the Freeport, Sierra Leone airport. Within days, a couple from home wrote to say they had been wanting to help support me in a different way than just financially, and could they buy me a camera?

Another time, our ship’s engine broke down during a sail. The captain and mates said the situation looked pretty serious, from a technical standpoint. (After all, we were a 50-year-old boat.) Our vessel lay right in the path of a fierce storm. The crew gathered to pray for a miracle, asking that God would guide the hands of the mechanics laboring far below in the engine room. Within an hour, we heard the engines roar to life. Soon after we were on our way again, safely out of the path of the storm.

Whenever I wanted to go out into the African communities, I usually had to travel by taxi…quite a different experience than what we Americans know as a taxi ride, however. To make the best use of their space, and to earn the most money, African taxi drivers would often pile up to 20 bodies in their small minivans. If you were one of the first in (as I usually was), this meant having several sweaty, smelly bodies literally on top of you for the rest of your journey.

My fear was that I would contract one of the diseases that are so prevalent in that part of the world. AIDS in particular is a very real threat. Many of the people who were sitting in my lap, or who were pressed up against me, had open wounds, or coughed and wheezed in my face.

In those moments, I learned to pray Mark 16:17-18 – “And these signs will accompany those who believe: In My name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues; they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well.” (And I usually added on at the end, “And they will sit with very sick people in African taxicabs, and shall not contract a disease.”) 

Do you know, the entire time I was in West  Africa, I never once came down with a local disease – not even malaria, which runs rampant? And this was in spite of the time I was invited back to a little hovel after Sunday School, in what must be one of the poorest spots in the world, and given a meal of fish and rice. The smiling housewife handed me the village’s prized possession: a metal fork. I think it may have been the only one they had, and they only brought it out on very special occasions.

The problem was, they had not washed it since the last time it had been used. I gulped and hid my dismay, smiling back as I reminded myself how important courtesy was in a missionary’s relations with the hosts. I began praying fervently, and discreetly bent down to rub the fork against my long skirt. I cleared my plate, later heading back to the ship to begin counting down the hours until I came down with some horrible disease. But…nothing happened. I stayed healthy. God was my protector.

I had intended to stay on the mission field longer than I actually did. For reasons unknown to me at the time, I knew clearly that it was time to head home after only two years. I felt badly, as it was in the middle of the school year and I taught in the ship’s school. How would they be able to replace me? The principal did his best to look around.

One day he came to me with a very interesting email from a woman who had written that she knew it was the middle of the school year and that it was unlikely there would be an opening, but that she was desperate to work for a few months in our school, in preparation for a long-term stint with an on-shore mission agency later that year. It was a perfect replacement situation for me.

I found out months down the road why God had brought me home early. My father, one of my closest friends and the picture of health at only 56, died suddenly of a heart attack while mowing his lawn. As difficult as it was to be at home and watch the suffering my family went through, I can’t imagine how I would have taken the news had I still been overseas.

In the dark and painful days that followed, He reminded me again and again of His promise to be my Father. “You were My child before I ever gave you an earthly father,” He would whisper to me as I lay crying in bed.  “Trust Me to meet your needs. Turn to me with your doubts, fears, hopes, and plans.”

He has never failed. He often surprises. He sometimes tests and forces me to grow. But He ALWAYS provides and loves. He wants to do the same for you.

Erin Doherty

“Erin Doherty makes her home in Forestdale, MA, close to the beaches of Cape Cod. She has been a reporter, teacher, missionary with Mercy Ships in West Africa, and office manager for a business firm. She currently works in marketing and consulting, and runs a small virtual assistance on the side called “Minding Your Own Business”. Erin leads worship at her local church, and loves a good adventure. To contact Erin, email her at EMDoherty@aol.com.”